“No one, monk, or layperson, is immune to the storms emotions and relationships can bring.” – Jack Kornfield
I remember as a child being told not to make a mountain out of a molehill or to stop over-reacting. This would make me even more angry and I’d often walk away and stew on my emotions. Unheard, I was left alone with my emotions and did not know how to be with them. I felt confused, lost and at the mercy of a dark and rough sea where nobody could hear my voice against the rise and fall of daily life.
I learnt about an image of a dinghy and boat during my mindfulness training and how the dinghy evolves into a boat. I find this image helps me to breathe and reconnect to a deeper more trustworthy sense of myself.
Nowadays, the time that I spend in the rough seas of my mind are less and even when the sea feels unnavigable, I am able to be in that dinghy and trust that it will evolve into a boat with a rudder and mast so that I can steady myself and remain afloat.
This is akin to the journey that I travelled to find my seat in meditation. I knew that meditation was helpful but felt unable to commit to a consistent practice. Once I allowed myself the space and time to sit and be still, and sometimes walk and observe nature, little by little I felt my nervous system calm down. I found it easier to respond rather than react to unpleasant situations.
My nature prefers a calm and peaceful life and yet deep within me I know that it is inevitable that there will be times when my practice of mindfulness is tested. To take my seat for meditation helps me to meet the rough times and trust that the sun will shine again and help me to find inner stillness once more.